When You Think You Have It All Figured Out...

Everyone has some notion of how they picture their life to turn out. Many times, life turns out to be quite the opposite of what you were imagining.

I always wanted to get married at a young age. I don't know why but since I was a little girl, I wanted to be a young bride. I wanted to be a wife and mother. And for a long time I was afraid that would never happen. I wanted to get married young, but my logic told me that because that was what I wanted, I wouldn't get it. I would have to wait, or there wouldn't be a man who would want to spend eternity with me. That would be my challenge in life, at least that is what I thought.

I have never been one of the pretty or popular. In high school I went on a grand total of 4 dates, 3 of which I had to ask the boy. I asked a boy to a dance my junior year, and he said no. All of my friends were asked out on dates or to dances by our senior year, everyone but me. I saw myself as a girl boys will only look to as a friend, nothing more.

I began the year 2012 convinced I knew who I was going to marry. I would just have to wait two years, but it was only two years. There wasn't a chance in my mind I would get married before he returned from his mission. Boy's werent interested in me. I was in a dark place. I have never felt so alone or abandoned in my life. I felt like everything was falling apart. Now, I see why.

I knew deep down that I wasn't going to marry the missionary, but I was so afraid to let him go. I was so afraid that if I let him go, no one else would want me. I was afraid to be alone. But it had to be done, and I knew it. I also knew that I was falling in love...with Michael. The relationship I had with the missionary I thought was perfect, but looking back, we weren't a good fit for each other. My relationship with Michael is so different in every way. I I never questioned his feelings for me.

Before I knew it I was engaged. I was getting married. The three months of planning my wedding was so surreal. I was preparing for MY wedding day. I never even imagined that I would get married so young, I wanted too, but I honestly didn't think it would happen. And here I was, getting ready for my day.

Looking back at the last year I went from feeling so abandoned and alone, to the happiest I have ever been! I have changed what I am studying in school, and my family has grown so much! It has been a year of a lot of changes for me. I have changed, I am a completely different person now than I was a year ago. If you were to tell me one year ago that in one year I would be married, I would have laughed in your face. But...here I am. Happily married and only 20 years old.

My point is sometimes things don't turn out they way you imagined. They turn out even better. So don't give up when your plans fall through, someone is watching over you, with a bigger plan in mind. And trust me, his plan is infinitely better than anything we could imagine.

I never imagined that I would be married at this point in my life, worrying about money and how to support ourselves while both attending school. But I am and I have never been happier.

I am so grateful my life didn't turn out the way I thought it would.

This is my life.

And I wouldn't change a thing.